Dog parks, daycares, and on-leash greetings are all incongruent with normal canine behavior. They can easily create behavioral issues or worsen existing ones. Even in playful, friendly dogs, they can create the unhealthy idea that our dogs are going to get to greet every other dog. Many other dogs become fearful, reactive, or even aggressive as a result of being forced into these uncomfortable situations. For this reason, I highly recommend that dog owners forgo all three.
Dog parks are unstructured social settings where it’s expected that dogs will run up to each other and play. But for most dogs, the sight of a strange dog running up to them is unsettling at best. Canine packs do not behave this way in the wild. And as a result, the number of fights that occur within dog parks is staggering. Dogs are hurt and killed in them daily. Even friendly dogs can get into fights when play styles and energy levels do not match. But let’s assume nothing catastrophic will happen: Going to dog parks regularly demonstrates to most dogs that their humans are not in control of their surroundings. This undermines trust and over time, this will weaken your bond and your ability to manage your dog’s behavior. Even for dogs who love the attention of others, it reinforces that other dogs exist to be played with, often making them the single greatest reinforcer to your dog. You can’t very well call your dog off a distraction if the distraction is more rewarding than you are.
Daycares have the advantage of having supervision and referees, at least in theory. Many will attempt to match dogs by size and energy levels. And they do a pretty good job of preventing fights, though they still happen. I have many clients whose dogs became aggressive after getting attacked at daycare. The biggest issue is that we cannot know with 100% certainty what behaviors are being reinforced when our dogs are there. Even well-intentioned and reputable daycares will do things that are counter to training you may be doing: They might be letting dogs charge through gates when they open, bark excitedly at each other and humans, or jump for attention. And like dog parks, they create unhealthy expectations of getting to greet other dogs. Depending on your work schedule, they may be necessary to at least break up your dog’s day. But if your budget allows it, an individual dog walker would be better.
On-leash greetings are a final issue that seem like they solve the problems of the first two. They involve only two dogs, instead of a group. You’re there holding the leash, so you can enforce rules that matter to you. But it becomes something that humans do because of a misunderstanding of what “socialization” is, not because the dogs actually need it. Second, two dogs will often be at least curious about each other, and therefore pull towards each other as you approach. The taut leashes generate frustration and often anxiety, which can explode into a fight. They can also tangle as the dogs move to sniff around each other, trapping them together before they are ready. Finally, the other owner is often a stranger, whose expectations of normal canine behavior may not match yours. When two dogs meet, it’s vitally important that their owners agree what behavior is and is not allowed, so that they may intervene appropriately. All this to say: reserve greetings for dogs you’re going to have to see regularly. Do them only with dogs whose owners you know well and share your expectations. Even then, understand that dogs do not have to be friends.
These three situations are the cause of so much frustration, confusion, and aggression in the dog community. They exist to meet our very human desire for our dogs to have friends, but fail to meet the evolutionary needs of the dogs. And to be clear, your dog absolutely can have friends. But forcing your dog into tense environments for the sake of making friends with total strangers is odd behavior with little to no benefit and huge potential consequences. If you are doing any kind of behavioral modification with your dog, they remain huge variables which will cause unpredictable results. And even if you have the “perfect dog” and things are going well, one bad experience is enough to create a problem. Anytime I am training someone’s dog, I make sure they are aware of the implications of continuing to do these three things. They are absolutely the three fastest ways to mess up your dog’s behavior and mindset.